Saturday, February 13, 2016

Moving too fast or Mutuality ??

Morning friends
Felt like writing a little because I think I'm befuddled a bit about Initial Dating Rules (moving too fast vs. Mutuality)?
Ali's Thoughts:
I've been seeing lots of posts/comments from men and women about initial dating rules lately maybe cuz it's Valentine's Day season.  About how we should date, whether we are moving too fast or not. Ex.  how long you wait to say you like someone, how long before there is physical intimacy, how long before you call, if you should always be available. All this and that... And how those things can dictate whether a person thinks you are worthy of a chance or not, in SOME cases....
(*This post isn't about physical appearance or morals or personality qualities, behavior or characteristics, personal preferences...or if he or she might be crazy or predators or stalkers(haha sorry) etc... Its not about the internal value of a person.. it is merely about following those initial dating rules and judging one another based on them just because someone said you should.
Let me first say, For the record I am currently single and never been married & seem to always be tweaking myself and observing as I learn from dating. Some experiences funny, some not so much..
I am no expert just sharing my opinion...about something I realize even I may be subjected to (ie. judged by).
We are all different. So, for me, I believe,  in this day and time if two people have GOTTEN to know each other (whatever that timeframe is to them) and they are MUTUALLY on the same page (whatever that page is for them) to GO FOR IT!
(*if you aren't on the same page or in Like for Like that's different and does NOT pertain to this post)
I'm talking mutuality....
In essence, I feel like These 90 day vs 1 date rules, who says they like who first, being avail or not, being too avail or not etc... Can misguide us. Saying something will work or not work based on activities that really has less to do with a persons true self but is merely a rule ingrained to follow, is false guidance when the rest of the package matches up. Ie personality, lifestyle, do they make you laugh, can you spend time with them doing nothing, do you want to just spend time, qualities you share, admiration etc...
Now some of those rules are entertaining to listen to sometimes, but really??
Of course take your time where you need, hence I said mutual timing and after you've gotten to know one another etc... But to blindly follow rules just cause?
DO WE STILL DO THAT?
Let me explain my thoughts a bit....I've been on both sides of some of those rules  and at this STAGE IN 'MY' LIFE,  I feel like if my value/quality is SOLELY determined by whether I did one of the above rules (not based on personality etc... And Given we have spent some get to know one another time, but are hung up on the rule.....) 

...WAIT FOR IT.....
then I may not be what they are looking for..Or vise versa..
***let that sit for a minute...I had to think about this myself....

I think when two people meet they know if they like one another
(ie. Sometimes there is 'The spark' or just..that unexplain-able feeling of likeness, usually not based on looks or status etc... Just something about them) or if they want to get to know one another because they are intrigued so they carry on with dating...

I'd like to think we do what feels right for us and even if a relationship does not work out, 
we GO FOR IT again.. The last thing we should be judged about is an ambiguous rule.

I think if we can be intentional and strive for mutuality in friendships, companionship, professional relationships etc....things will work out.

Either way... Do what feels right for you with no regrets... We all have choice.
If something doesn't feel right, carry on.
But don't beat yourself up and don't allow things outside of you and your situation to dictate your every step.
~Ali

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Alis Out of Shape... weight loss story!

My weight loss story:
About 14 mos ago 12/3/2014 I was 176lbs. (*most will swear that couldn't be true...it was..i just carried it 'secretly' I guess )..
Anyway, I was eating raw and pretty lean, light on meats, veggies etc..BUT i was on this gluten free kick which is still sugar in disquise and false sense of overall healthy (*cuz you still have to pay attention to the affects of whatever you consume on your body)..
I was making homeade breads *daily..(so good no lie) etc.. having rehular late night cocktails, coffee daily And my stress levels were super high!! (These are the things, I know were impacting my body. Everyone is different)
I was very sluggish and lacked energy and motivation to exercise etc... (**False sense of good body genetics too).
I am huge on health/ weight loss being 80% what you eat, but I will mention the supplement I tried which was Thrive.
Supplements are  something I am primarily against (ask my trainer we argue about that often) because I have been plant based natural for years, but I gave it a shot anyway because I wasn't sleeping well, couldn't get up, couldn't work out, wasn't effective at work yada yada.
I admit.. it jump started me and my results were awesome in the 4 wks I consistently took it. But I didn't want to be reliant on maintaining my weight based on a supplement so I stopped using it.
That was Jan 2015.
I dropped from 176lbs to 140lbs.
Was working out regularly, had energy once I lost the weight and felt good overall.
*Biggest challenge is doing what it takes to maintain my desired weight and feel good.
I did well with strength and toning through the first half of the year and was so lean..
It was unbelievable.  I felt sooo good.. Squats, pushups, sprinting, everything was 50times easier because I was carrying less. Less waist, booty, less thigh, hips (Womens main problem areas)
I have kept the weight off, but in Oct 2015 I started slacking etc... due to work and life stress etc... I Stopped working out as much....
The muscle I gained turned into fat so technically I have gained weight mass because fat weighs less than muscle but takes up more space..
Ie. I weigh the same, but my clothes now fit different because my body is shaped different.
*most can't tell, but I can.... So that's all that matters 
Anyway, I mention all of that to say while I am extremely proud I have kept the weight off, I AM OUT OF SHAPE!!
So now its time to tone and strengthen again.
I miss the muscle tone in my legs & glutes and ability to do 75+ pushups and squats without being out of breathe.
With that said I will be starting squat workouts and more protein and muscle management using a raw meal protein to rebuild, maintain and get back ' In Shape' .
Don't be fooled squat workouts are full of cardio and can be great HIIT workouts. I'll be building our some combos as I go along.. I need variety in my workout or I'll get bored.
I will be getting back on the hiking trails soon and hope to build my intermediate & extreme level hike groups. 
Please feel free to join me in my squat workouts, hikes or follow my progress.
Are you making any lifestyle changes you want to share..?
Tell me about them!
Remember workout is great, but also be cognizant of what you eat and when you eat... Good food is ultimately the best supplement..
AliMBS (Mind Body Soul)

Jamaican spicy cabbage

Ever crave good cabbage??  OMG!!! This recipe is the bomb 1/2 Cabbage 5-6 mini sweet peppers 1 cup Carrots julienned 1 tbsp Thyme 3 chopped ...