Being Vulnerable..My Feelings..

Vulnerable moment....

Most people think I'm happy go lucky all the time and full of life, can handle it all, or nothing ever bothers me...you know..I'm Ali.. and for the most part I am happy and almost always looking for the silver lining..
But I do go through things. Things bother and hurt me but I tend to evaluate/recover quickly and move on (happiness/peace/calm is such an desired place for me)..which gives appearance I'm always ok..
Often times I move on before ever addressing what happened...(working on getting better at that)... which, sometimes leaves things unresolved.

***Recently, my feelings were hurt (**you have to hold a special place in my heart to even hurt my feelings which is another reason why I usually look happy... My circle of who can affect me that way is pretty small..)
and as usual I tried figuring out why I even felt that way..lots of things come up as to why..maybe I was being overly sensitive, or stressed, or needed comfort..or... thought I was 'taller' than I am....who knows.. Point is it caught me off guard and hurt.. (It was Actually good feeling to acknowledge the hurt and let the emotions pour out.)
(*I've been taught to be on guard to stifle my feelings, keep them to myself or resolve on my own for a long time) ..but I sat back and realized it is ok to feel/acknowledge hurt/disappointment, whatever the reason.. & even To express it as long as it's done respectfully.
My goal is not to reside there.. (& address when necessary.) I may not get the response I think will ease my hurt, and that has to be ok...because what I get is exactly what was supposed to be... the cycle of emotions I have been so good at hiding is necessary for me to go through to acknowledge, embrace and grow in myself...
***Learning to allow my feelings openly so I can let them flow is a work in progress.
~Ali 
#beingpositioned
#vulnerable #empathy

Even in my doubt.. I press on..

Ali Random Thoughts:
Just because someone is blissful and highly freespirited most of the time doesn't mean they are not often greeted with rejection ie. NOs and quite often many rarely think those spirited souls get sad, heavy hearted, hurt or cry....

On the contrary we do....we typically care about everyone and everything which makes it even tougher...
I will concur that quite often I hear No, Not today, ehhhh, I can't, flat out NO Ali!  or a myriad of rejections..( trust me.. My strike 3's get counted often and quickly)..but I try not to get discouraged...and not dwell on negative things much... They are lessons and I can learn from them as I choose. As we all can.

When one door is closed or slightly open with a door stop holding it firmly....I run down the hall trying to open others as if Jason is chasing me...(without falling over that leaf....of course).

**Then when I find one that is open..I run in and slam the door behind me and sit quietly without breathing (to make sure Jason doesn't find me... Sorry couldn't help it)
Anyway, rejection is rejection.. it hurts, but you cant stay there long..life is a struggle where ever we allow the struggle to lay...going to the next option when you've tried your best doesn't denote failure it shows strength and perseverance....

Even in my doubt.. I press on..
I dance a little (OK a lot-even to no music)
Cry a little..
Appreciate those who encourage me.....
And dance some more...

Anyway have a Super day!
Be Blessed

#A2C #smilescoverhurts #dance #aspiretoinspire #freespirit #AliRandomThoughts #AliMBS #BeAnimatelyExistent

Winning doesnt always mean crossing the line first...

Ali Random Thoughts:
I noticed I have had to wait a day to respond to some texts and emails lately... (personal & work)
My initial response has been a bit of agitation on a few things and that is not like me...
I know I am a bit off balance personally and professionally...as of late.
I responded to a few things today with absolutely no angst... Same msgs as before..only change was in me...

*sometimes I have to take a moment when I notice my tone, my energy, my agitation level....My Balance is off and get back on track...
*I used to be quick to belt out anything that I wanted with little regard as long as I felt I was being true to myself....
And some friends would laugh and think that was .... Ali being Ali....

But is that the Ali I wanted to be???

Was I Actually getting what I wanted??
Hmmm... I learned (for me) this was not displaying my true strength nor helping me develop my passion/purpose so I started paying more attention and being more conscious say about 7ish yrs ago... 

At first I was reflecting on everything I did and said... What my thought process was.. Why did I feel this way.
Why was my initial response what it was?
What inside me was triggering this response?
Was I OK with it? Or not?

My goal was to get to a point where I did not have to think about my reaction or wonder later what I said or how I said it... I wanted to live more and reflect less... But it took time to deal with inner things that triggered those reactions in me.

I can say now I more easily process things not to dismiss them, but they truly just roll off my back without me categorizing and rationalizing etc...
It has taken a long time and I still have some things that I clearly have not completely dealt with because the presence of the scenario continues to pop up in my life.
But in this process I have come to a place where I believe PAUSE is beneficial and a quick response is not always the best....
Winning doesn't always mean crossing the line first...

Ali Thoughts
A2C (Ali's 2¢)

Alis Lets Talk Sex - SEX & Food...

Ali's Health Sex ED 101 - Does Food Matter?
Can Food make you perform better in Bed?

Hey friends!
I am in my mid 40's and many of my friends are as well and we are not getting older we are getting wiser, more rambunctious, spontaneous, etc...
One thing I can say for certain (for me at least) is life sure does get better and so should sex.
We don't die off after our 20's or after we have had children we actually start living (i hope).  Sex is a major part of life.  It is a major part of relationships (whether we want to admit it openly or not).
Well I am here to talk about it. From a physical & mental point of view.

Look.... we can play around here and say we don't need to worry about our bodies.  Say it doesn't matter what we eat, how much sleep we get, our stress levels etc...
NOT TRUE!!!  and you know it as soon as you try to get it on......or as soon as you are finished...
Saying it doesn't matter is a cop out to me.  Yes, I said it.... a Cop out. A way to displace our behavior when in actuality we need to take responsibility.

At the end of the day and the beginning, for this matter.  You are in total control.
So lets get down to it.

Pharmaceutical companies are making a killing on all these different sex help drugs..
with Side effects lists that make me rather become a nun. (like why do I need to have diarrhea or nausea, cramps, dizziness list goes on for everything)  That is alarming to me...?!?!?!
They have FloMax, Cialis, Viagra, Levitra (for Men) and Intrinsa and Flibensarin (for Women) to name a few. And I am certain they work for many people.
BUT what if just a change in diet and lifestyle can help correct the issue and the side effects leave you feeling UP instead of down? Puns Intended....

So let's list a few foods in this first edition that are good for sexual health management...

Tomatos are high in lycopine which is great for blood food. ie. erection.
Celery helps balance sodium levels.  Lower sodium levels pull sodium from Bones making them weaker.  pay attention...
Citrus is high in flavonoid which decreases blood pressure and  increases erectile function.
Avocados aid in balancing hormones and cervical cancers.
Olives assist in the function of ovaries.
Pineapples are high in Vitamin C and other benefits and said to increase the TASTE.... Whether this is true or not, if it helps you eat more good foods.. .I say do it. ;)

Everyone may not agree with this information... but I am a firm believer you are what you eat. and your body speaks to you we just have to listen.  So when things are not working like they should we owe it to ourselves to pay attention SOONER than later.

So before you resort to synthetic drugs, for the purpose of getting your rocks off or on... consider a natural healthy alternative.   Start with being honest with yourself. Find a good support system. Be with someone who will support your lifestyle changes.  why shouldn't they???? it benefits them....

And if you are still on the line with this one and don't really think you need to change for YOU (the most important person) and you are blessed enough to have a significant other, then.... well.... Do it for them.
The response will be magical....

Look Better, Feel Better, Taste Better

(*Do you like this topic?  Do you want more?  send me some feedback)  :)

~Ali

Moving too fast or Mutuality ??

Morning friends
Felt like writing a little because I think I'm befuddled a bit about Initial Dating Rules (moving too fast vs. Mutuality)?

Ali's Thoughts:
I've been seeing lots of posts/comments from men and women about initial dating rules lately maybe cuz it's Valentine's Day season.  About how we should date, whether we are moving too fast or not. Ex.  how long you wait to say you like someone, how long before there is physical intimacy, how long before you call, if you should always be available. All this and that... And how those things can dictate whether a person thinks you are worthy of a chance or not, in SOME cases....

(*This post isn't about physical appearance or morals or personality qualities, behavior or characteristics, personal preferences...or if he or she might be crazy or predators or stalkers(haha sorry) etc... Its not about the internal value of a person.. it is merely about following those initial dating rules and judging one another based on them just because someone said you should.

Let me first say, For the record I am currently single and never been married & seem to always be tweaking myself and observing as I learn from dating. Some experiences funny, some not so much..
I am no expert just sharing my opinion...about something I realize even I may be subjected to (ie. judged by).

We are all different. So, for me, I believe,  in this day and time if two people have GOTTEN to know each other (whatever that timeframe is to them) and they are MUTUALLY on the same page (whatever that page is for them) to GO FOR IT!
(*if you aren't on the same page or in Like for Like that's different and does NOT pertain to this post)
I'm talking mutuality....

In essence, I feel like These 90 day vs 1 date rules, who says they like who first, being avail or not, being too avail or not etc... Can misguide us. Saying something will work or not work based on activities that really has less to do with a persons true self but is merely a rule ingrained to follow, is false guidance when the rest of the package matches up. Ie personality, lifestyle, do they make you laugh, can you spend time with them doing nothing, do you want to just spend time, qualities you share, admiration etc...

Now some of those rules are entertaining to listen to sometimes, but really??

Of course take your time where you need, hence I said mutual timing and after you've gotten to know one another etc... But to blindly follow rules just cause?
DO WE STILL DO THAT?

Let me explain my thoughts a bit....I've been on both sides of some of those rules  and at this STAGE IN 'MY' LIFE,  I feel like if my value/quality is SOLELY determined by whether I did one of the above rules (not based on personality etc... And Given we have spent some get to know one another time, but are hung up on the rule.....) 

...WAIT FOR IT.....
then I may not be what they are looking for..Or vise versa..
***let that sit for a minute...I had to think about this myself....

I think when two people meet they know if they like one another
(ie. Sometimes there is 'The spark' or just..that unexplain-able feeling of likeness, usually not based on looks or status etc... Just something about them) or if they want to get to know one another because they are intrigued so they carry on with dating...

I'd like to think we do what feels right for us and even if a relationship does not work out, 

we GO FOR IT again.. The last thing we should be judged about is an ambiguous rule.

I think if we can be intentional and strive for mutuality in friendships, companionship, professional relationships etc....things will work out.

Either way... Do what feels right for you with no regrets... We all have choice.
If something doesn't feel right, carry on.
But don't beat yourself up and don't allow things outside of you and your situation to dictate your every step.

~Ali

Alis Out of Shape... weight loss story!

My weight loss story:

About 14 mos ago 12/3/2014 I was 176lbs. (*most will swear that couldn't be true...it was..i just carried it 'secretly' I guess )..

Anyway, I was eating raw and pretty lean, light on meats, veggies etc..BUT i was on this gluten free kick which is still sugar in disquise and false sense of overall healthy (*cuz you still have to pay attention to the affects of whatever you consume on your body)..
I was making homeade breads *daily..(so good no lie) etc.. having rehular late night cocktails, coffee daily And my stress levels were super high!! (These are the things, I know were impacting my body. Everyone is different)

I was very sluggish and lacked energy and motivation to exercise etc... (**False sense of good body genetics too).

I am huge on health/ weight loss being 80% what you eat, but I will mention the supplement I tried which was Thrive.
Supplements are  something I am primarily against (ask my trainer we argue about that often) because I have been plant based natural for years, but I gave it a shot anyway because I wasn't sleeping well, couldn't get up, couldn't work out, wasn't effective at work yada yada.

I admit.. it jump started me and my results were awesome in the 4 wks I consistently took it. But I didn't want to be reliant on maintaining my weight based on a supplement so I stopped using it.

That was Jan 2015.

I dropped from 176lbs to 140lbs.
Was working out regularly, had energy once I lost the weight and felt good overall.

*Biggest challenge is doing what it takes to maintain my desired weight and feel good.

I did well with strength and toning through the first half of the year and was so lean..
It was unbelievable.  I felt sooo good.. Squats, pushups, sprinting, everything was 50times easier because I was carrying less. Less waist, booty, less thigh, hips (Womens main problem areas)

I have kept the weight off, but in Oct 2015 I started slacking etc... due to work and life stress etc... I Stopped working out as much....

The muscle I gained turned into fat so technically I have gained weight mass because fat weighs less than muscle but takes up more space..
Ie. I weigh the same, but my clothes now fit different because my body is shaped different.
*most can't tell, but I can.... So that's all that matters 

Anyway, I mention all of that to say while I am extremely proud I have kept the weight off, I AM OUT OF SHAPE!!
So now its time to tone and strengthen again.
I miss the muscle tone in my legs & glutes and ability to do 75+ pushups and squats without being out of breathe.

With that said I will be starting squat workouts and more protein and muscle management using a raw meal protein to rebuild, maintain and get back ' In Shape' .

Don't be fooled squat workouts are full of cardio and can be great HIIT workouts. I'll be building our some combos as I go along.. I need variety in my workout or I'll get bored.

I will be getting back on the hiking trails soon and hope to build my intermediate & extreme level hike groups. 

Please feel free to join me in my squat workouts, hikes or follow my progress.

Are you making any lifestyle changes you want to share..?
Tell me about them!

Remember workout is great, but also be cognizant of what you eat and when you eat... Good food is ultimately the best supplement..

AliMBS (Mind Body Soul)

Start of the New Year Basic Body/Health Tips!

Welcome to 2016!!!

the start of a new beginning for some and continuation for others.

Wherever you are at, keep moving forward.  Take one step at a time.

Worry less about annual Resolutions and create Lifestyle changes...

So why not start off with some basic tips to get you going in the New Year....

**Remember Weight Loss is 80% Diet (meaning what you consume and when you consume it; NOT to be mistaken for a diet plan specifically) and 20% exercise

1. Eat Well, Eat Lean, Eat Often
• Eat USEful calories - care about what you are eating - READ Labels
• if you can not pronounce it, meaning it sounds like a synthetic try to understand what it is prior to consuming.
• if you shop along the perimeter of the store you can avoid alot of the processes/boxed/packaged foods that contain many of the synthetic ingredients in them.
• consume 5-6 meals per day consisting of 4oz portions for ladies and 6-8oz for guys (all these can vary based on body type and health, please consult your own physician or nutritionist)
• Your body will adjust to eating often
• RAW is in!! (* note some water grown vegetables ie. Water lettuce require at least steaming to cook off any parasites that naturally live on the leaves. Read or consult seller or gardener)
• if you cook vegetables try to limit cooking time to less than 5 minutes u (with exception to some potatoes and other harder gourd vegetables)
• Meat consumption tips
• I suggest to go for lean cuts of meat or fish
• I am partial to Lamb, Wild Caught Salmon from and processed in US, turkey. 
• I will occasionally have organic, hormone free chicken
• I personally stay away from Talapia
• Tip for ground meat for burgers, meatloaf, meatballs etc..
• I sugeest purchasing meet cuts and grinding them when you are ready for any recipe calling for ground meat.
• that way you know that the entire thing is meat and you pick the cut of meat for grinding.
2. Drink Water
• Drink half your body weight in ounces daily
• drink Before Each meal and after; before bed and when you wake up.
3. Food portion control is major... as a rule of thumb if you eat your meals with multiple food groups in one sitting. make sure your Vegetables (lightly cooked or raw) consume the largest are of your plate.
4. Be Heart Healthy
• this means exercise your heart. When you do exercise make sure to get in cardio building work.
• IE. HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training
• These workouts keep your heart rate high, build muscle and continue to burn calories/fat long after your workout. The muscle you build will naturally burn calories longer than fat.
• So DONT be afraid to tone and it looks SEXY :)
• check out some of my posted workouts on this blog  www.alimbsplus.blogspot.com
5. Donate those clothes do not fit any longer
• This eliminates the cushion that you can gain weight back because those clothes will be gone. And if you are anything like me, you refuse to go buy larger clothes.

Be sure to enjoy the transition!

This is your Body

This is your Life

Make it the best you can!!

~Ali