Things I'd Tell my Younger Self... #1 - When They Can't/Won't Say Sorry!! ... RUN!

by Ali Carter The Frugal Travel Chick

There is much to be said about a person who can't apologize!

So lets just get right to it!

Things I'd Tell my Younger Self  #1 

A. EGO - you knew it was coming. haha.  Many people can not tame their EGO.  Even when they know they are wrong.  Often times they have convinced themselves it is everyone else.  They aren't at fault, so why should they.  They may think you don't matter.  That is a sign too...

B. Guilt - Sometimes it's because there is so much shame over what they did or how they acted, it impedes their ability to just say the words.  So what?  They think....you are expected to stay around and put up with that?

C. They are waiting on You - Yep, you to apologize first. They think it's your fault.  The chain of events somehow gets twisted so they may even think their behavior was justified.

D. No Empathy - They can't see the situation through another persons eyes.  Everything, every pain is from their perspective and that is all that matters to them.

So what do you do if you don't get the apology.....

1. RUN!! - Seriously. Don't wait around. Bounce, For realz (if you need the slang)!  This is likely a deep rooted issue and you can not become a therapist and fix them.  Look.....even if something is your fault and you apologize you should be able to  talk it through. But when it's not your fault and your pulling teeth..  yep....RUN! 

2. Catch on to this behavior early as possible... then RUN!!!
You don't want to stay around too long because you get caught up.  It's harder to break camp after.months not to mention years have gone by.  It's also harder to make a point because you have put up with it for so long... so yep RUN!!

3. STOP waiting for the apology.... then RUN! this is the detrimental part.  You probably are even explaning yourself over and over and still nothing....yep RUN!

4. STop and I mean STOP apologizing in hopes they will also apologize.  You know you ain't ( yep ain't) bout to get no apology.  Let's just keep it real.  some traumatic event would have to happen and that may not even shake the tree.  You know the drill.. RUN!!

Seriously if a person can not apologize for the things they do, you are in for a very intense and compicated relationship.
Save yourself the trouble... and RUN!!!

3 Reasons You have to Let Go... Especially when it Hurts

by Ali Carter The Frugal Travel Chick

With so much loss around us,  tomorrow, even the next hour are not promised.  You may have bad memories, a bad experience or situation that is just clinging to you and you can't shake it.

So what are you going to do to take back your life and LIVE to the Fullest?

Most times we hold on to things that arent the best for us because we are not at peace, we feel we were wronged, we are seeking closure and sometimes that closure is from someone else.  The thing is..... We may never get that closure. And that is wasted time.  Valuable time... YOUR Time...

You have to Let Go... like the movie said... and Let it Flow!!!

Why...
1. Your Health is more important.. Isn't it?
Holding on to something causes stress, depression, leads to issues with eating habits, sleeping, weight issues.  (major losses and gains of weight are equally not good).  Look, it's hard enough to lose weight without adding on lbs because of someone else.  Right?!?!?

#2 - Your other relationships are affected. Family, friends, coworkers can usually sense you are going through something.  How, cuz you are proverbially stabbing them!!!
If you are going through something you may be overly emotional, quick tempered, or irritated easily.  Sound familiar? 

You may not want to be around anyone.  Which is understandable, but Sheesh.. how can you be affective functioning this way?  It gets old fast.

Finally Third.. Let Go so You can Grow!
We see these quotes saying something better is waiting for you if you just take a step.  You can't grasp the new when you are holding on to the old. Yada Yada.  I love those.  and yes sometimes it is easier said than done.   Think about all the opportunities passing you by.  All the doors hanging open waiting for you to just walk through.  Sometimes you don't even see them because your brain is so foggy with this useless situation.  On one hand you keep talking about what you want to do in life, but it's passing you by.  You become stagnant...

If you don't release it, the hurt will be even worse and last longer.  The pain you are trying to avoid is gonna swift kick you in your Rump Shaker!! yep.

No One or No Thing that is not looking to amicably resolve an issue is worth another wasted minute of your life.

You make the choice....
your choice to be healthy, to have great relationships and to GrOW!! ;)

Stop missing out..Easy ways to Save!

by Ali Carter the Frugal Travel Chick

Ya'll alreadyyyyyy Knoooooooowwww…  Like Big Freda would say.
Saving MOney is what I live by.  How can I enjoy life on a dime?

I started my Financial Diet back in 2010 and took 1 year to pay off $24K in debt and I still practice those tips today.  So I'll share a few basics with you.

Saving is really comingled with Discipline & Sacrifice.  Yep I said it the D and S words.  Without them and a winning lotto ticket you may struggle quite a bit.
We all want to enjoy life so living smart instead of hard is what makes sense to me.

1. Start Saving Early.  If you have kids start a savings account for them now!!
Teach them to save even a 4 or 5 year old understands putting money in a piggy bank for later.
Economics starts at home.
It was something I didn't really learn except that we didn't have money, but I wasn't taught methods for saving so I got a pretty late start.

• Try a weekly or monthly savings challenge.
• ex. $5 per week = $20 monthly = $240 annually
• ex. $10 per week = $40 monthly = $480 annually
• ex. $15 per week = $60 monthly = $720 annually
• ex. $20 per week = $80 monthly = $960 annually

This is doable right?

I know I know.. you will say I don't have $5, $10,$15 or $20 a week to spare.  Well before we throw in the towel so quickly let's take a look at your finances.

2. Let's figure out how much you can afford to save....

• Take out a sheet of paper. ledger or use and online tool
• Write down every single expense you have
• Split into your pay cycles. Ex 15th & 30th
• be sure to include annual, seasonal stuff too
• Jot down the amount that is remaining each month ( assuming it is in the positive)
• if not, that is another discussion)
• Now add in Hygiene, house supplies, car maintenance and entertainment
• Jot down the remaining balance
• Now let's talk saving - Ideal amount is min 3 mos covering all expenses.  This is separate savings from a travel or entertainment budget.
• Calculate 5-10% of monthly net amt before bills
• Create an automated way to put that money somewhere you can not easily access it.  A savings acct or a friend or family member holding it for you.

3. What can you cut back on?? This is where the DISCIPLINE and SACRIFICE kick in!

Let's say you break even or are coming really close to that break even monthly.

• Go back and review your expenses.  What's high?
• Main one I like to start with is EATING OUT/Entertainment!
• This includes coffee, smoothies, vending machine, quick drive thru fries, convenient store snacks, popcorn etc...
• EX. let's say you Drink Coffee daily at $5 per cup.
• That's $25 per week = $100 per month = $1200 annually.

DID YOU JUST SAY WOW!!!!

YEP Me too.

So how can you change this spending habit?

buy that bag of coffee and a thermal mug and make your own daily.

Pennies compared to spending $4-$8 daily.

• Next big change is Making meals at home.  

Get in that Kitchen, dust off those pots, pull up some Simple and Satisfying recipes and whip it up!

• This can be easily done by buying groceries and making breakfast and lunch for work daily. You can even consider Meal planning and Meal prep.  Make everything on your off day and refrigerate for quick grab.  Save money & enjoy food you make
• Ex.
  

  • If you eat out even just once a week in addition to your coffee fix.  You likely spend $5-$8 or more (I'm just low balling it) per meal.  that is another $25 - $40 weekly.
  • That average with coffee is $2400 minimum saved annually
  • If you eat out 2 days a week it's an easy $4800 minimum saved annually
  • and of course you can go on and on.  

  
  
• Do you know what you can do with $2400 or $4800+ annually?
• You can Pay off another bill, invest, or even travel.

Check out my other blogs on Traveling on a budget.  There are many options for you.

Don't think it's hopeless.  If you have a goal you want to reach, jot that goal down and look at it as inspiration daily.

If you work hard, you should play hard too.

Declutter....Physically and Mentally!!

yall ever look up and your whole house.. like every single room, is cluttered... even messy??
Like how did this happen, especially if you live alone like I do. I don't get it.. but I can tell you this... it is driving me crazy.  How weird, I feel like it makes me feel groggy, lethargic and a bit moody...

if you feel like this sometimes check out my video and lets declutter together!!!

Why do women have to suppress their sexuality for him to want to marry her?

Should Women suppress their sexuality to be considered or marriage???
this is ridiculous.  On one hand we say we are not in the arch ages and on the other hand when it applies to women and expressing themselves as such we are expected to function like the 1500s.

The double standard rule is  so comical, I am not sure I understand how it still is used today.  But it is.  You can see this type of behavior on all levels.  So it goes to show you, someone out there still believes it and teaches it.

What is wrong with a woman being honest about her sexual needs.  Isnt it wonderful that she is comfortable enough to express it?
What if she hid her sexual prowness from her husband becaue he is afraid he cant hang.  yep I said it... cuz I believe that is why.   but what if she hides how she feels and has to go outside of the home to get her needs met.  To have someone care for her without judgement.  sound familiar???

I think women are tired of being treated like sex is their only quality until she ctually wants it for herself.

watch the video and let me know your thoughts.
ciao
#speakingmymind #10minsorless

Right side Up or Upside Down

In life we are either right side up or upside down....

Emotionally, professionally, personally...
And it matters..
It matters how we got there and if we need to right ourselves.

Often times we get in situations and we dont know how.. Have you ever been driving down the street or highway and 20 mins later you look up and cant remember the last 20 mins?? It happens to me alot.. Its drifting, or distractions that cause us to zone out.  Its like life... One minute you are 22 finishing college, looking for a job or maybe working somewhere you like and you look up and you are 35, with kids, in a job you may hate, bills galore etc..
And you say... What??? Wait!!!
How did I get here, this is not what i planned...
There is nothing like waking up.. Coming out of a daze..and feeling turned upside down.
Either we stay that course because its where we are at that moment and it must be destiny right? * not always.. It may just be decisions but we will talk about that another time...
Or we try to upright ourselves.
We may reach out to family or friends, we may work harder trying to work ourselves out of it...
We may pray..
Well I do a little of each.. And I incorporate Yoga and meditation... Why? Because in my world.. None of it is wrong.. There is a place for it all.

The peace and direction from yoga and meditation clear my vision both figuratively and physically.
I have learned to quiet my mind and while my mind is quiet... To heal my body through movement.
It's like playing a movie in slow motion.. You see where you are emotionally and physically and your body and mind speak to you.
Am I happy, am I at peace, am I living the life I have envisioned or am I barely surviving, hanging on. If I am barely survivng, the movie is playing slow enough for me to begin to see where Im upside down, what area am I inbalanced..

At that point.... I can decide if I stay the course or change it....
Of course nothing is easy or fast...
But figuring out when you are upside down or right side up is a major accomplishment...

What works for you?

Next:
Yoga asanas to aide in opening us up.

#WheresAli #yoga

Road to Peace of Mind - The Giver

Lots of people show up when you are successful or have abundance and freely give to them or they know that they can ask you for anything, and the answer is usually yes. 

Those people don't know how hard it is for you to say no because in your heart, You are a true giver, and even when you know someone is using you and taking advantage of you and then ridiculing you all while they've got their hands stretched out to you for your help, You still give, you still smile kindly....

And while it's not ok to be treated that way... it's ok because you don't control others intentions or actions. 

Remember, it's not about what they'll get for how they treat you, but it's about what you're gonna get for how you treated them. 

There is a blessing in being a blessing.  

Even if people walk around and say you are stupid, it's your fault, your silly for hanging around so long, for not seeing the signs, for allowing that treatment.. 

They can't see you are made from a different cloth. The cloth of love and protection and it's just in your nature to be good to people.  Continue to see the good in all things.. But Learn to protect yourself, your peace, your space and your energy....when it's possible. Even God had to shake things up and reclaim his peace... but never stop loving and never stop giving. 

Everything that happens is predicated on what we have done.. 

Ali💜☯

Stop trying to prove yourself worthy... To the wrong people...

STOP STOP STOP...
OK ok.. I know .........easier said than done.
First you have to realize you're doing this so common thing... You know.. trying to prove that you're good enough... Prove that you're worthy. You find yourself in a situation and no matter what you do, how well you do, those persons think you're worthless,a liability and not an asset.. All the while receiving and even asking for any and everything you are willing to give..

There are moments when, you scratch your head, look up and try to figure out how did I get here? 

You may ask yourself... Do I devalue myself? How could everything I've done be so overlooked, How could I not be of any real value to this person or persons?

Couple things:

1. We do not all value the same things. and even in those times when it seems we do, We can often define what it is we value differently.

2, Everyday life trains us to function this way.  Our jobs, Society tell us to prove prove prove....compete compete compete... UNTIL you get a gold star or UNTIL you get that pat on your back..  

Continue to try to prove yourself worthy, 

prove yourself good enough,  

prove that you should be here..

Of Course, there are levels to this. On one hand we work hard and let the work speak for itself which is natural and then there's the extra proving.  The going the extra mile.  

You know.... have you ever noticed you are always available,  Always say yes, Always 2 steps ahead trying to be proactive?

Have you ever wondered why there are some people who will walk up to you, maybe they know you, maybe they dont... but immediately commend you on your shine, your abilities, your skill.

But you've been so caught in this web, trying to prove that you can get there if you just work hard enough, help more, do what no one else will....
So caught you can't hear those applauds, those accolades because you're waiting for receipt for purchase that was never made.

That's right... Some of us have heard it... "Well I didnt ask you to"  STAB STAB STAB.  Oh how that hurts...  

See that's the one that we have to stop doing.  You See there is no receipt or signoff because we just do.

Take it from me.  It took me a minute to actually realize there are things that I still do in life trying to prove to people who, I believe are very important to me.  I wanted them to tell me I'm doing a good job... 

HEY look over here!!!  Do you see me? Do ya Do ya?

They may... but at what capacity? Do they see your real strengths or only what they can envision for you? 

You can't torture yourself. You have to decrease the amount of energy you give away to this.

9 times out of 10 those people cant give you the approval you're looking for because they have yet to give themselves that same approval.

At that moment it is up to you to decide if you will to search deeper to figure out why you are drawn to to attracting that approval.  Is this trauma related? is it situational or learned in some way...?

and 

have the courage to take enough time to stop and remove yourself initially from that abuse.  The abuse from yourself that is causing you to believe you have to prove your worth by being someone's liability or option Even when you are worth way more.

This isn't easy...

But we must physically and mentally RISE UP and STOP trying to prove ourselves worthy.... To the Wrong People.

~

Ali

Best things to do for Holidays...

If we didn't have holidays to remind us of a national day... How often would we say...
Thank you
I love you
You are amazing
You are beautiful
You are kind
You are a great Dad/Father
You are a great Mom/Mother
Shout out to all the Moms or Dads
You are an exceptional grandparent
You are appreciated
You are a ⭐teacher
Heres a gift for you
Here are some flowers
I got you a watch or game tickets
Let me take you to dinner for being great
Can I help you
Etc......

Do we wait for national holidays to remember one another or do we do it daily anyway???

..
Why not try these for the holiday and see how much more fun you have.
ciao

Can You put YOURself First???

Just a Word..

Personal diary log...
This has been going on a 4 yr learning process for me... In every aspect of my life, work, personal life, serving others.. etc... Admittedly, I have failed often.

My emotional energy has been low so I've been doing more intentful meditating practice and noticing the impact to my overall balance Crown to Root. 

Understanding how much of myself I naturally give away or offer without thinking is astounding...

 It hit me this morning and over the past month...
It is taking a long time to start working through this process because I noticed that as I start doing for me.. Planning for me.. Exploring what I love first with no outside interference, I have to pick and choose what else can fit in my LEFTover space.. 

That hasn't happened in my life..

 My stuff always filled my LEFT over space in the past... 

I realized how much of a disservice I am to myself and then to those around me.. 

**I had to ask the tough question...HOW can I be what I am designed to be if I always put me on the backburner and never nurture my design?**  hmmm...

I still find myself almost feeling bad & trying to make up for my absence.. 

Ie.. Like Im making up for the fact I have dreams and aspirations.. 

It's crazy...

**I always use the reference when flight attendants tell you to put your mask on first on a plane before assisting anyone else...or

how we hear.. Love you first before you try loving someone else..** 

I am learning to be in spaces where I am appreciated, energy is balanced, respected and truly wanted..

anything else I am only killing myself slowly...

** Life is Ambiguous... Organic energy and timing can not be forced

And I realize I am still not applying it when it came to people around me.. I still allow the external to drive...
I am practicing creating space for ME.. And whatever doesn't fit.. to Let it not fit in the beginning instead of trying to figure out how it should fit.....**

#JAW #wheresAli #WherezAliBlog

Life is a Mirror

One thing is true.. We all have not experienced the same exact things at the same time... But the feelings and emotions are so close  to the same...it can not be denied...

I have never been married. ..that doesnt mean I don't feel some way about being married or having a lifelong companion,

I don't have a significant other, doesn't mean I havent felt love  and pain of that experience...

I don't have a small child now,  but did raise my son as a single mother,  so it doesn't mean I don't still feel endearing to excrutiatung love & pain..

Often times we think if somene isn't where you are right now.. They can't possibly know what you're feeling..  Not necessarily true..
Human contact and relations are universal..
In the end we all want someone to Love us,  care for us,  remember us,  treat us like we matter...
Remember that... #lifeisamirror

#wheresAli

Lingering....

There are a few things that I thought I couldn't live without in my life....

you know... like

Criminal Minds...

Cable...

Movie Pass...

A love...
And through life and changes..I have found that...I didn't necessarily need them.
Maybe because they were not serving a purpose and I have been able to live without them.... without realizing they were gone.

This hasn't been true for everything....

There are some things that just linger and linger.......and linger
and
I often wonder when the lingering will be gone...

~Ali

Let's Leave this in 2018

One thing I strongly suggest we 

leave in 2018,
and that is the notion of....

I am who I am, this is who I am, I'm not gonna change...

The reason I say leave that in 2018 is if you are an advocate of change, and you want things to be better and you are looking for people to do things different.

The change you're looking for, talking about, suggesting has to start with you..

#Alifuera

Why is following our Dreams so Hard???

Quick bullets on why I think it is so hard for each of us to truly follow our dreams...

I'll Give you 7 reasons why...

1. We don't want to ask for help
2. We don't want to listen
3. We don't know how to remove ourselves from the current life that binds us.
4. We don't truly want to remove ourselves from the current life that binds us.
5. Money rules us
6. Bad habits rule us
7. We don't want to sacrifice
All of these create this thing called fear.  Where we believe something is difficult because, one, we have not seen anyone else do it so we cant copy (most everything is copied in some form with our own twist)  And creating a new path of our won really only happens in memes.

If any of these are true for you , Decide how to break the mold like a baby bird when it breaks through the surface of its egg shell to discover something it has never seen before.....
The WORLD

#WheresAli
#WhereZAliBlog

YOGA YOGA YOGA by Ali

Quick Level 1 Guide to get you rockin and rollin!
Yoga- what is it?
Why do it?
Why not?

Yoga has become a way of life for me.  It is more than just physical moves, it is mental and spiritual.
It is a means to be silent without practicing being silent….
It became a way to channel my energy without saying I’m channeling my energy.

Some moves are true Yoga asanas and some are just moves you begin to try as you challenge your body and those are great because you get to unleash our creativity.

A great myth Buster is there is  one size for yoga... **LIES**.  Even if you tend to see really small and in shape people on SM and commercials, please know Yoga is for everyone.  So don’t wait to start because you feel you need to drop weight or get in great shape first.
Yoga is very helpful in burning those pounds away!!

Just so you know yoga wasn’t something I gravitated to right away.  Actually, my personal trainer, who ironically, was a very muscular guy suggested it to me.  And I was like… ehhhhh… This was only 5 years ago.  Well I didn’t start practicing consistently until around 2016/2017.....  And let me tell you it has made me really channel all the areas of my senses. I can relieve stress, create calm in my mind and feel better….

And that is why I do it?

So, if you are just getting into yoga for whatever reason, here are some beginner poses you can try.
The trick is to be consistent and practice and push through some of the pains you will experience as you retrain your body, your mind and your soul.

So let’s get to the Yoga poses  -  ie. Asanas
Ideally hold any of these poses 30 secs to 2 mins or more.
The main key is *REMEMBER TO BREATHE!!*

Level 1
Childs pose – called Balasana
Child's Pose helps to stretch the hips, thighs, and ankles.  It is known to aid in reducing stress and fatigue. It is a resting pose. This is a pose you can visit often especially when learning advanced poses and as a transition pose.

Extended Puppy pose – called Uttana Shishosana
Extended Puppy (or Melting heart) is a mix between Downward facing Dog and Child’s Pose encourages you to drop your heart to the ground and stretch out your spine upward and downward.  This helps with creating and training the hollow back.

Cow Pose – called Bitilasana
Cow Pose is great for warming up the spine it stretches the front torso and neck
Great starter to loosen up
.

Cat Pose -  called Marjaryasana
Cat Pose is a balancing pose that helps strengthen the core muscles (who doesn’t want that!!) and lengthens the spine. It stretches the back torso and neck.

Cobra –  called Bhujangasana
Cobra is — is a the pose that helps to prepare the body for deeper backbends. Its name comes from It Strengthens the spine, chest area, shoulders, and abdomen. If you clinch it can help firm the buttocks. This pose can also aid in relieve stress and fatigue. Cobra and Upward Dog are similar. My pose is a mix.  Once you raise your hips you are more in an upward facing dog position.

Downward facing dog – called Adho Mukha Svanasana
Downward Dog is a pose that introduces the invert.  It is a great full body stretch pose from toes, calfs, hamstrings, quads, glutes, back, shoulders and arms and it helps build strength.

Take as much time as needed to work on these poses.  The goal is to hold them at least 30 seconds.  Which is a great workout in itself.

Remember to breath and open up your body to each pose.
Yoga will help increase your flexibility, circulation and strength and so much more!!
Enjoy these!

Namaste!

Ali
Mind YOUR Body & Soul
"http://www.mindyourbodyandsoul.com" www.mindyourbodyandsoul.com
Wherezali.blogspot.com

My Circle....

This morning...I was looking at stuff on the web etc..., reflecting on my life, my dreams and ALL my Failures, and thought about how much we could do if we worked together...

I Learned to just do it/Get it done when I was growing up so that left no room for being patient. For allowing others to stand in their truth (good or bad) and be accountable or create a space to nurture them for their own growth. That mindset didnt allow for naturally relying on people and selecting the proper companions..(made me think of failed relationships and missed accomplishments etc.....what it taught was dont wait on anyone ..do it all yourself...
The End result was the only goal..
But in reality.. we cant do it all ourselves.. eventually we need a team... a circle...
I see quite a bit of shadieness in this place called 'friends or circles' sooo I decided to put my definition into words...

What does Circle mean to me..
My circle... by my basic definition...
A circle of not only like minds & concepts.. but with different approaches, Beliefs are not identical but goals are..
A circle that accepts & nurtures what the others bring to the table
A circle that truly respects and does not heinously use or disparage one another
A circle that collaborates,  communicates & holds one another accountable to build..power comes in numbers not silo solos..
A circle that appreciates one another
A circle that is dedicated to shining light on one another for the world to see
A circle that not only talks..but executes
A circle that understands if this is built right...there is no END Result..because the legacy we build goes on and on..
(*hits the surface)
When did we lose this concept...or did we ever truly have it and understand it..??
Maybe that's why it is harder to attain....
#WheresAli #A2C #AliThoughts

Why are you here....? Why am I?

Why...

He put you in my life...
To disrespect me
To take me for granted
To not love me the way I needed to be loved
To not treasure me...

So he could see if I would treasure myself, 
Love myself the way I needed to be loved,
not take myself for granted, and If I respected myself..

Not everything is blissful in the beginning, middle or end..

Sometimes we have to learn hard lessons.. but not everything is meant to be painful..so dont believe that.. somethings are meant to call our bluff to say is this what you really want...
I believe in silver linings...

Sometimes we have to look in the mirror....and ask...why am I here..
#WheresAli
~Ali

Do you want to Break the Cycle?

Were you the kid your parents never gave praise or acknowledgement to..?

not because they didn't love you, but because they felt you were so confident and self sufficient they didn't need to...
BUT they openly spoke mounds of encouragement to the next sibling, kid, or other person in front of you..???
Not realizing it made you question your very existence and value.

You grew to believe you didn't need their support and believed it made you stronger...

Did it? 

Or did it make you trust less.. 

Seek help less.. 

Struggle alone more??

So much so you may have similar behavior traits.. You may find you overlook giving people credit and justify it by saying they should know.  I have been guilty of this or saying.. well they are doing what they should.  But the next person who barely comes through gets a pat on the back for barely doing what they should because we want to help build them up.  All the while I realized I aided in possibly tearing my true support and rock down.  I have worked hard on changing this over the past 5+ years so that now acknowledging, saying thank you, good job,  I appreciate you, even giving personal acknowledgments and compliments etc... is more natural.

Why am I writing this... because I want to break the cycle.... 

Note - I am talking about when reward is warranted not the blanket everyone gets a trophy concept.

Flip side... I have been told in the past I am always present, willing, helpful, work hard, loyal etc... so I am overlooked, because as a constant they did not have to worry about me. *There were examples of this very behavior and treatment in the bible - Cain & Abel, Esau & Jacob, the story of the Prodigal son.

Because of this I found myself questioning my existence in that environment.  I thought, if I am so easily overlooked because I always work hard, but am not worthy of expressed gratitude,
Why am I here?
 I knew this was something I wasn't good at so I worked on changing this trait in myself and even moreso I am aware of it's existence or lack there of.
For me.. I withheld praise mainly because I did not know how to give it. nor was it comfortable... So I didn't really think about it.. Or did I?  Maybe I assumed people like me... who worked hard... didn't need it... What a conflict with how I felt and how my brain was trained!!!!

I had to ask myself is it really that hard to give thanks, verbally or non-verbally? No, it wasnt.  It was harder to break the cycle than to offer encouragement where due.

  

So how does one truly KNOW anyone else's thoughts without it being stated?

We all want and need acknowledgement, praise, a compliment a pat on the back of some kind.  If we say we don't, this message is specifically about that misinterpretation of hurt.

Moral... if deep down that behavior, hurt..realize the same action causes the same hurt to the next person.

Sometimes we grow enough to see the pain inflicted on us whether on purpose or accidentally and sometimes we learn and have the courage to work hard to correct it... that is what I call 

Changing things.. 

Creating a new paradigm... 

Breaking the cycle...

We are only damaged if we never try to acknowledge and adjust...

I am working on this daily.  

#A2C
~Ali

You dont have to teach Adoration and Respect...

When someone loves and Adores you you don't have to teach them how to treat you...
LOVE AND Adoration supercede everything.!!
Specifically, When it comes to respect, honor, loyalty....you may have to teach little things around what you like ..preferences..
You know.. colors, flowers,  foods that kind of thing...
but never how to treat someone you adore...
How to respect,love and adore.... Just Is!!

Short and sweet..
#A2C

Intuition..can be a Curse

Inside Ali:

I have been told I am very intuitive and I believe I am...sometimes I can feel my third eye watching everything....
Intuition has been good and bad. Sometimes helps because I see or understand before hand so I am prepared and the flip....

It has gotten me to a place where I rely on me rather than waiting to hear and understand from others.
Intuition mixed with my personality which is always moving, exploring, excited, accelerates impatience or the appearance of impatience.

Knowing this now, I try to practice patience by taking the time to ask even if I already think I know. I now look forward to the feeling, the emotion, the expression that is shared with me. It teaches me to be vulnerable, it teaches me patience. and Let me tell you how hard this can be at times.

It is like having to use the restroom really bad, standing at the stall, but not going in because I just can't and there is no other bathroom I can get to. (like a bad dream... I know)

Yoga, meditation and purpose are the things that are helping me through this journey.. Most of which I have to travel alone.

I get lessons daily... whether direct or indirect and have to seclude my mind (ie. my mouth) and be in that space without movement.

Some may see it as a missed opportunity...as I still do sometimes... But I am learning... The Real Opportunity is gained and coming.....


#A2C #Aliisgrowing #thecontinuanceofsomethingnew