Can You put YOURself First???

Just a Word..

Personal diary log...
This has been going on a 4 yr learning process for me... In every aspect of my life, work, personal life, serving others.. etc... Admittedly, I have failed often.

My emotional energy has been low so I've been doing more intentful meditating practice and noticing the impact to my overall balance Crown to Root. 

Understanding how much of myself I naturally give away or offer without thinking is astounding...

 It hit me this morning and over the past month...
It is taking a long time to start working through this process because I noticed that as I start doing for me.. Planning for me.. Exploring what I love first with no outside interference, I have to pick and choose what else can fit in my LEFTover space.. 

That hasn't happened in my life..

 My stuff always filled my LEFT over space in the past... 

I realized how much of a disservice I am to myself and then to those around me.. 

**I had to ask the tough question...HOW can I be what I am designed to be if I always put me on the backburner and never nurture my design?**  hmmm...

I still find myself almost feeling bad & trying to make up for my absence.. 

Ie.. Like Im making up for the fact I have dreams and aspirations.. 

It's crazy...

**I always use the reference when flight attendants tell you to put your mask on first on a plane before assisting anyone else...or

how we hear.. Love you first before you try loving someone else..** 

I am learning to be in spaces where I am appreciated, energy is balanced, respected and truly wanted..

anything else I am only killing myself slowly...

** Life is Ambiguous... Organic energy and timing can not be forced

And I realize I am still not applying it when it came to people around me.. I still allow the external to drive...
I am practicing creating space for ME.. And whatever doesn't fit.. to Let it not fit in the beginning instead of trying to figure out how it should fit.....**

#JAW #wheresAli #WherezAliBlog