Sunday, September 25, 2016

Being Vulnerable..My Feelings..

Vulnerable moment....
Most people think I'm happy go lucky all the time and full of life, can handle it all, or nothing ever bothers me...you know..I'm Ali.. and for the most part I am happy and almost always looking for the silver lining..
But I do go through things. Things bother and hurt me but I tend to evaluate/recover quickly and move on (happiness/peace/calm is such an desired place for me)..which gives appearance I'm always ok..
Often times I move on before ever addressing what happened...(working on getting better at that)... which, sometimes leaves things unresolved.
***Recently, my feelings were hurt (**you have to hold a special place in my heart to even hurt my feelings which is another reason why I usually look happy... My circle of who can affect me that way is pretty small..)
and as usual I tried figuring out why I even felt that way..lots of things come up as to why..maybe I was being overly sensitive, or stressed, or needed comfort..or... thought I was 'taller' than I am....who knows.. Point is it caught me off guard and hurt.. (It was Actually good feeling to acknowledge the hurt and let the emotions pour out.)
(*I've been taught to be on guard to stifle my feelings, keep them to myself or resolve on my own for a long time) ..but I sat back and realized it is ok to feel/acknowledge hurt/disappointment, whatever the reason.. & even To express it as long as it's done respectfully.
My goal is not to reside there.. (& address when necessary.) I may not get the response I think will ease my hurt, and that has to be ok...because what I get is exactly what was supposed to be... the cycle of emotions I have been so good at hiding is necessary for me to go through to acknowledge, embrace and grow in myself...
***Learning to allow my feelings openly so I can let them flow is a work in progress.
~Ali 
#beingpositioned
#vulnerable #empathy

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