STOP STOP STOP...
OK ok.. I know .........easier said than done.
First you have to realize you're doing this so common thing... You know.. trying to prove that you're good enough... Prove that you're worthy. You find yourself in a situation and no matter what you do, how well you do, those persons think you're worthless,a liability and not an asset.. All the while receiving and even asking for any and everything you are willing to give..
There are moments when, you scratch your head, look up and try to figure out how did I get here?
You may ask yourself... Do I devalue myself? How could everything I've done be so overlooked, How could I not be of any real value to this person or persons?
Couple things:
1. We do not all value the same things. and even in those times when it seems we do, We can often define what it is we value differently.
2, Everyday life trains us to function this way. Our jobs, Society tell us to prove prove prove....compete compete compete... UNTIL you get a gold star or UNTIL you get that pat on your back..
Continue to try to prove yourself worthy,
prove yourself good enough,
prove that you should be here..
Of Course, there are levels to this. On one hand we work hard and let the work speak for itself which is natural and then there's the extra proving. The going the extra mile.
You know.... have you ever noticed you are always available, Always say yes, Always 2 steps ahead trying to be proactive?
Have you ever wondered why there are some people who will walk up to you, maybe they know you, maybe they dont... but immediately commend you on your shine, your abilities, your skill.
But you've been so caught in this web, trying to prove that you can get there if you just work hard enough, help more, do what no one else will....
So caught you can't hear those applauds, those accolades because you're waiting for receipt for purchase that was never made.
That's right... Some of us have heard it... "Well I didnt ask you to" STAB STAB STAB. Oh how that hurts...
See that's the one that we have to stop doing. You See there is no receipt or signoff because we just do.
Take it from me. It took me a minute to actually realize there are things that I still do in life trying to prove to people who, I believe are very important to me. I wanted them to tell me I'm doing a good job...
HEY look over here!!! Do you see me? Do ya Do ya?
They may... but at what capacity? Do they see your real strengths or only what they can envision for you?
You can't torture yourself. You have to decrease the amount of energy you give away to this.
9 times out of 10 those people cant give you the approval you're looking for because they have yet to give themselves that same approval.
At that moment it is up to you to decide if you will to search deeper to figure out why you are drawn to to attracting that approval. Is this trauma related? is it situational or learned in some way...?
and
have the courage to take enough time to stop and remove yourself initially from that abuse. The abuse from yourself that is causing you to believe you have to prove your worth by being someone's liability or option Even when you are worth way more.
This isn't easy...
But we must physically and mentally RISE UP and STOP trying to prove ourselves worthy.... To the Wrong People.
~
Ali
