Stop trying to prove yourself worthy... To the wrong people...

STOP STOP STOP...
OK ok.. I know .........easier said than done.
First you have to realize you're doing this so common thing... You know.. trying to prove that you're good enough... Prove that you're worthy. You find yourself in a situation and no matter what you do, how well you do, those persons think you're worthless,a liability and not an asset.. All the while receiving and even asking for any and everything you are willing to give..

There are moments when, you scratch your head, look up and try to figure out how did I get here? 

You may ask yourself... Do I devalue myself? How could everything I've done be so overlooked, How could I not be of any real value to this person or persons?

Couple things:

1. We do not all value the same things. and even in those times when it seems we do, We can often define what it is we value differently.

2, Everyday life trains us to function this way.  Our jobs, Society tell us to prove prove prove....compete compete compete... UNTIL you get a gold star or UNTIL you get that pat on your back..  

Continue to try to prove yourself worthy, 

prove yourself good enough,  

prove that you should be here..

Of Course, there are levels to this. On one hand we work hard and let the work speak for itself which is natural and then there's the extra proving.  The going the extra mile.  

You know.... have you ever noticed you are always available,  Always say yes, Always 2 steps ahead trying to be proactive?

Have you ever wondered why there are some people who will walk up to you, maybe they know you, maybe they dont... but immediately commend you on your shine, your abilities, your skill.

But you've been so caught in this web, trying to prove that you can get there if you just work hard enough, help more, do what no one else will....
So caught you can't hear those applauds, those accolades because you're waiting for receipt for purchase that was never made.

That's right... Some of us have heard it... "Well I didnt ask you to"  STAB STAB STAB.  Oh how that hurts...  

See that's the one that we have to stop doing.  You See there is no receipt or signoff because we just do.

Take it from me.  It took me a minute to actually realize there are things that I still do in life trying to prove to people who, I believe are very important to me.  I wanted them to tell me I'm doing a good job... 

HEY look over here!!!  Do you see me? Do ya Do ya?

They may... but at what capacity? Do they see your real strengths or only what they can envision for you? 

You can't torture yourself. You have to decrease the amount of energy you give away to this.

9 times out of 10 those people cant give you the approval you're looking for because they have yet to give themselves that same approval.

At that moment it is up to you to decide if you will to search deeper to figure out why you are drawn to to attracting that approval.  Is this trauma related? is it situational or learned in some way...?

and 

have the courage to take enough time to stop and remove yourself initially from that abuse.  The abuse from yourself that is causing you to believe you have to prove your worth by being someone's liability or option Even when you are worth way more.

This isn't easy...

But we must physically and mentally RISE UP and STOP trying to prove ourselves worthy.... To the Wrong People.

~

Ali

The Avocado Rose

Spiraled some sweet potato and Just tried the avocado rose and love it.. So easy and cute and now I get to eat it..

Raw veggies and squash and pumpkin seeds too

Yummm..

John Wick: Chapter 3 Parabellum Movie Review by Ali

The 3rd John Wick... If you are a fan of all the action and the character Keanu plays.... I will let the cat out of the bag.. You will not be disappointed.

Keanu showed out and I found out he still does 90% of his own stunts.  Even as he is priming he moves pretty well.



Halle Berry aka Sofia kicks major booty. She handles the guns and the dogs like a pro. I just want to know... would you drink the water from the water bottle? eeeek
Hail Halle!!

Let me tell you who else kicks butt!!!
The Doc who assists John is a straight trooper.  I was like yep...nope... haha. To avoid death.. he almost died. You gotta go see to understand what I'm talking about.
THEN... there were the Horses and the Dogs.  YO!!  first off I was like they better not hurt any animals. I am so not a fan of animals dying in films especially how horses fall etc... Ok I digress.  Anyway.. if you didn't like horses and dogs.. OHHHH you are gonna love 'em after this.

There were hoops and hollers, screams and DA-DAngs all through out the theater and movie.

It was an interesting story.  If you have seen the previous 2, there is some tie in. Keanu aka John kills an important person of the High Table and now he has a bounty on his life.  and not just any bounty... it started at $14mil.  Ok... IM in.. haha
There were rotary phones, tons of tats and piercings in the office that looked like it was placed in the 50s and everyone had those weird push up phones..  The ones you know are only used as throw aways and for assassinations.  The Adjudicator played by Asia Kate Dillon was a trip.  I give her credit.. she was so unbothered.  And Zero played by Mark Dacascos was super funny and a skilled fighter.

There was a lot happening and I was rooting for John and Charon. I wasn't sure how I felt about Lawrence Fishburnes altercation with the Adjudicator

I will say it is about 15-20 mins too long. But the fights were Great, the gun and animal scenes amazing and you get a chance to learn some great assassin vocabulary.

So what happens to John Wick?  Is it over?

Rating: I Give it an Ali - BAM!! 

Ask Ali of B.A.M. Blog/TV/Radio

wherezali.blogspot.com - for more movie reviews and blogs

FB - @alibamradio

IG - @bamblogtvradiowali

Twitter - @wherezali

Ratings:

    BAM - Great! Go see it

PEACHY - amusing & pleasurable

HUMDRUM - Ehhh...

RUBBISH - well it's Rubbish

Dare me to put Avocado in a Parfait???

Who doesn't love a treat.. 💜💜

This parfait is so good with a twist. 

Homemade chocolate granola, raspberries, blueberries and no dairy avocado infused whipped cream

So yummy

Eating healthy-er isn't a death sentence 😜

#parfait

Godzilla: King of the Monsters Movie Review by Ali

Alright ya'll so I grew up on Godzilla,which was first aired in 1954, but it has been in my house since I was young and I admit it has been a minute since I partook in a Godzilla movie.

I don't know where to start.
I saw the movie on 5/30/2019 in Real 3D and it was CG heavy, action and destruction packed!!!
To say in the least.
Almost too much.
This story was about Godzilla reclaiming his KINGship over the other beasts.  There was a spider, the 3 headed dragon , the eagle, the moth etc....
I lost count.  Godzilla is the expected hero.  He is to be the humans savior.  Ultimately he has to fight the 3 headed dragon creature King Ghidorah or possibly watch all of humanity become extinct.
The human story was less than exciting and was barely tolerable in terms of the acting.
But the humans are of course the orchestrates of this mayhem. They thought they could control the rising of each creature and bring balance.
Well, I don't know if they were successful.

You see the family breakdown and unity, the tragedy that causes the separation and who wants to be the savior, make up for all the wrongs...

If you love Godzilla, the beast fights, I dont think you will be disappointed not one bit.
For me, I actually like to be able to see what I am looking at and if it's CG I want to see the definition and clarity.   I want to see who or what is fighting or throwing out fire or electric beams.

It was a lot of nothing it seemed like to me.  They could have left out a lot of the family dynamics, but I get it.  Brighten up the film and let me see who is fighting.  I kind of like a little bit more than a lot of rubble crumbling to the ground.

Anyway, a little over 120mins, I say check it out if you are already a fan.  If not, you might be good waiting for the dvd. Just saying...

Rating: I Give it an Ali - HumDrum with a side of BAM action!!

Ask Ali of B.A.M. Body & Mind Radio show/I Am Royalty Radio 
www.iamroyaltyradio.com

wherezali.blogspot.com - for more movie reviews and blogs

FB - @IARonline
      - @alibamradio
IG - @iamroyaltyradio
     - @bamradiowali
Twitter - @I Am Royalty Radio
            - @bamradiowwithali

Ratings:
BAM - Great! Go see it
PEACHY - amusing & pleasurable

HUMDRUM - Ehhh...

RUBBISH - well it's Rubbish

Never had Pho like this

Rice noodles,  tossed in Pho and hot pepper sauce,  topped with seared scallops and garnished with lime zest...red pepper sauce and light dry kale slaw

Yummy

Less than 15 mins to prepare... 

Best things to do for Holidays...

If we didn't have holidays to remind us of a national day... How often would we say...
Thank you
I love you
You are amazing
You are beautiful
You are kind
You are a great Dad/Father
You are a great Mom/Mother
Shout out to all the Moms or Dads
You are an exceptional grandparent
You are appreciated
You are a ⭐teacher
Heres a gift for you
Here are some flowers
I got you a watch or game tickets
Let me take you to dinner for being great
Can I help you
Etc......

Do we wait for national holidays to remember one another or do we do it daily anyway???

..
Why not try these for the holiday and see how much more fun you have.
ciao

Simple & Clean Meal Replacement

Simple morning Meal replacement... with blackberries...

Ibuse this to drop weight and get my food choice intake under control..

I also use a cleanse tea every other day or sometimes daily..

When I eat raw and clean I  want to feel the goodies in my blood stream and not have it masked by toxins...

Share what works for you???

#mealprep #mealplan #detox #foodporn

Can You put YOURself First???

Just a Word..

Personal diary log...
This has been going on a 4 yr learning process for me... In every aspect of my life, work, personal life, serving others.. etc... Admittedly, I have failed often.

My emotional energy has been low so I've been doing more intentful meditating practice and noticing the impact to my overall balance Crown to Root. 

Understanding how much of myself I naturally give away or offer without thinking is astounding...

 It hit me this morning and over the past month...
It is taking a long time to start working through this process because I noticed that as I start doing for me.. Planning for me.. Exploring what I love first with no outside interference, I have to pick and choose what else can fit in my LEFTover space.. 

That hasn't happened in my life..

 My stuff always filled my LEFT over space in the past... 

I realized how much of a disservice I am to myself and then to those around me.. 

**I had to ask the tough question...HOW can I be what I am designed to be if I always put me on the backburner and never nurture my design?**  hmmm...

I still find myself almost feeling bad & trying to make up for my absence.. 

Ie.. Like Im making up for the fact I have dreams and aspirations.. 

It's crazy...

**I always use the reference when flight attendants tell you to put your mask on first on a plane before assisting anyone else...or

how we hear.. Love you first before you try loving someone else..** 

I am learning to be in spaces where I am appreciated, energy is balanced, respected and truly wanted..

anything else I am only killing myself slowly...

** Life is Ambiguous... Organic energy and timing can not be forced

And I realize I am still not applying it when it came to people around me.. I still allow the external to drive...
I am practicing creating space for ME.. And whatever doesn't fit.. to Let it not fit in the beginning instead of trying to figure out how it should fit.....**

#JAW #wheresAli #WherezAliBlog

Wacoooooo... Deep In the Heart Film Fesitval 2019

Deep In the Heart Film Festival 2019 March 28-31, 2019 in Waco Texas!!!
Can you say jam-packed!!!
Who would have thought a small town in Central Texas would garner such a big turnout from filmmakers. 

The red carpet was filled with a number of different new faces and veterans that I Am Royalty Radio has a pleasure speaking to.

We talk with Aaron Martin (CAST) about The Last Whistle the story about cardiac arrest on the football field. Based on a real story, about a running back who passes away after an incident on the field and a coach who wants to keep winning and a community who is concerned about it's athletes. How do they work together?
Aaron: "American Heart Association has gotten toghether with The Last Whistle and is screening this film to at risk youth... It is really relevant in the last couple of years.  It's a good little family film."

The Message Director Nate Southard takes us on a 3 year journey about a woman carrying for a woman late in life going through Alzheimer's.  This is a drama and deals with the changes of an ailing parent going through the ups and downs mostly Downs of Alzheimer's all rolled into 7 minutes.

Nate: "It's basically taking this 3 year period of my life and breaking it down into 7 minutes and just trying to punch you in the gut."

Fevah with Producer Nikhil Melnechuk and Actor Melissa Jackson. Nikhil was
excited they just flew in at 3 a.m. and drove to Waco from Houston right before festival red carpet.  What dedication!  

Fevah is a 12 minutes psychological thriller about a love triangle with possible real life scenarios... hmmmm. We know we love those right?Nikhil: "Get in and out..  a few tears"
Melissa: "The story is very powerful and I think a lot of people really connect with it. Male or female.  and it can mess with your psyche.....MAYBE :)"

Breaking Brokenness by Cedric Thomas Smith the short film about healing a family from trauma. Cedric said he wrote, directed and produced this film because.."Every family has a secret, that secret that you better not tell, the secrets you better take to your grave."
This secret is about a mother who killed her husband and her daughter does not know why so she digs into the past.
 the pain of the past and how you heal from it in real life is prevalent in today's world, we see it all the time.

You People.. by Lavon Chapman
Now how many times have we heard that?  Lavon Chapman is the Director and Producer of this short which is a comedy about stereotypes.
Lavon: I want everyone to walk away knowing that people don't all fit into a box and we are all created equal.  We are very layered and possibly opposite of the stereotypes that we've been ordained by.  When you leave is film he wants people to look at people, not at face value so to speak, but peel away those layers.
"This is one of those films that says...take a minute and look closer."








Peddling with Director Terry Bluez.
It's a 70's style film. About a kid raised by his grandmother who is working to make money to buy a bike and succumbs to the ways of the streets...
Terry: "As an artist its always nerve racking to put your work out there because it is very vulnerable...but the reception I have gotten from it has been great.."

Mother of A Sacred Lamb with Director/Producer Aman Johnson.
Nominated for best drama and best thriller.  About mothers and the pain and hope you have when you have a missing child.
Aman: "I wanted to do a film that was a drama but I also love horror films.. so let's see if we can creatively make one that fits both..." I think he did it.







Sacred Hair by Director/Producer Mario Morin all the way from Montreal, Canada. a film about diversity.
Mario: "We all think we are different but we are the same. Go beyond and see what unites us.  Doesn't matter color, religion, age, your belief system... the essence of all of us is the same."








West of Leona with Producer Christopher James Thompson & Actor Brian Cobbs. About a guy who rides his bike to the Leona mtns (not a real location) alone on a trip he and his girlfriend were supposed to take.
Christopher: We wanted to talk about Life and loss from a guys perspective.
Brian: "It should be relatable to men.  Women are not the only ones that go through this.










Age of Bryce with Co-Director Brian Elliot and David Feagan.
This is about a son and mother relationship where the mother is overly protective and the son is coming of age and just wants to explore on his own.
Brian: "This is just based on Life."
David: "Every relationship between a child and mother is kind of like this in some form or fashion.  It may not be soooo severe..." chuckling...








WolfBaned with Writer Tristan Sparks-McMahon & Actor Allyson Scottswood
Making you think about Little Red Riding Hood in a whole NEW way!!
Tristan: "The film is a twist of Little Red Riding Hood. I thought it would be cool.  i dont see a lot of films that are dark twisted horror fairy tales and I wanted to just retell the story. i really like movies that are ambiguous and psychological."
Allyson: on playing the part.  "I thought his writing was really good.  i really enjoyed playing the part and trying something different that would surprise a lot of people.

The Topaz Troop by Tori Ewing and Josh Overton (Camera)
It is a story about a young scout troop set out for camping to earn their camping badges while helping them cope along the way.
Tori: "My entire project is about facing fears. So it is for preschoolers.  It is helping preschoolers cope with and face their fears.  Skills of how to deal with those life problems."

follow: @thetopaztroop

Always Director/Actor/Writer Tracy Medberry and John Medberry
A romantic thriller short with a creepy and gritty feel but your expectation should

follow: @cronefablesmedia

flipped.. Makes you wonder what this is all about!! Get ready for tears and grit in one 10 min film!



Norwood Cheek on Filmmaking on Film & Representing Kodak.  
The Goal is to Encourage and enable film makers to shoot on film again and with Super 8. It is a great way to experience that.  I think there is a renewed interest in making film on film... in a great way, anyone can make a film now, but how do you set yourself apart?









Let's talk Human Trafficking and the film Unbound by Erin Stellar.
Human trafficking is so big in the US and actually Texas ranks #2 in the highest number of cases.  Most people are unaware because it is so hidden and no one likes to talk about it.
Erin speaks about talking with a trafficking survivor about her story to share in this documentary.
Erin: On making her first film and being in Deep in the Heart Film Festival.  "It's crazy.. it's surreal that I was chosen to get to come here and represent this story.  It is important work to be done."

www.unboundnow.org

We also chatted with Jessica Sequoia Director of Training of Unbound (anti human trafficking organization) and a Texas Detective Derek Wilson.

About anti-human-trafficking, community and awareness & how big it is right here in Texas. The organizations and law enforcement agencies are collaborating to give aid to the people that are caught up in these human trafficking rings 

Jessica: On how her org Unbound and the Sheriffs department came together.  "It is a beautiful picture of collaboration of community awareness and everyone getting engaged and using their talents and gifts to impact the fight against human trafficking."

To see more checkout wildworkspr.com or fastwrx.com and also follow the film's on social media Instagram and Facebook for more on this check out www.iamroyaltyradio.com

TORI - 2019 GRADUATION

2019 T.O.R.I. (Texas Offenders Reentry Initiative) graduation was yet another phenomenal event organized and hosted by The Potter's House Dallas.  T.O.R.I. is praised for its' extremely low 11% recidivism rate compared to US overall rate of 77% and uses a program focusing on the major components of every day life, employment, education, housing, healthcare, spiritual guidance and family unification tailored to each participant.

Every year since it's launch in 2005 a number of graduates that walk across the stage, receive their diplomas and move on in life living, growing, and changing for the better to continue to be successful.

This year special guests Senator Tim Scott, Topeka Sam, and Andre Norman were invited to speak abut their first-hand knowledge and experiences and offer hope and more importantly resources to the graduates.  Tina Naidoo, who has served under Bishop T.D. Jakes, was also a panelist.  Tina has been an intrical part of the T.O.R.I program along with her work to foster services for ex-offenders.

Topeka Sam Founder of Ladies of Hope Ministries talked about her experience in federal prison and after her astounding early release in 2015, went on a mission to bring more awareness to the disparity of women of color, specifically. LOHM assists these imprisoned women transition back into society.

She also part of other organizations and projects one of which is the PPAP Parole and Probation Accountability Project which is a project to work with the bodies of government to change laws that affect women specifically with the charges they are given.

Topeka Sam : "..understanding there were more things in common that we all had and that was this trauma, often sexual,  that was untreated, particularly in people of color. A lot of times we are just told to pray. We are not told to deal with it through mental health treatment."

Ali Carter: during Q&A - Topeka, You started PPAP - Parole and Probation Accountability Project in 2018, do you feel that project has had any impact with laws against women in the judicial system?

Topeka: in short Yes.. See final event Q&A video for full response.

South Carolina Senator Tim Scott, was the first one of the only three African American Congressman in office in this last term and the first black Republican senator in South Carolina.  His focus is to help invoke laws and change at the Congressional level and further trickle-down to state law.

Andre Norman was also a speaker at this event. Andre has endured many of things, he's been in the penal system with a sentence of 100 plus years and somehow walked away again with only 15 years served.  He decided to come out of that and do some good 

Andre: "When you have a gift and it's taking you some place- YOu have a purpose.  When I put my gift down I had no purpose. " Andre went on to talk about hos God spoke to him and this time he listened and that is what make him change from just wanting to be Free to wanting to be Successful.

The Potter's House added a Q&A taping session for selected media to hear and ask questions directly of the panelists about programs they are involved in that compliment the T.O.R.I. program which was hosted by Rebecca Lopez of WFAA D

As Andre Norman said .. the fight doesn't end once you get out, once you beat the case or once you get paroled... the fight is every day after that because every day after that you have to live in the same world where you found yourself trapped in. 

Learn how to volunteer or donate to this amazing program.

https://medc-tori.org/

https://thepottershouse.org/t-o-r-graduation/